Toileting is a big step in a child’s development and involves much more than just being able to use the toilet. It relies on both emotional and physical readiness.
Physically, children need to be able to recognise when they need to go, hold on long enough to get to the toilet, and manage clothing and hygiene. Emotionally, they need to feel safe, confident, and in control of their bodies.
Some children reach this stage earlier than others — and that’s perfectly normal. Just like walking or talking, toileting is a developmental milestone that happens in each child’s own time.
While school readiness is a common motivation, toileting is really about supporting each child to feel secure, capable, and proud of their independence, whenever they’re ready.
There’s no rush — the most important thing is to provide gentle encouragement, patience, and praise along the way.
Top Toilet Training Tips for Parents
- Wait for the Right Signs
Start when your child shows readiness: staying dry for 2+ hours, showing interest in the toilet, or being uncomfortable in a nappy. - Create a Routine
Set regular potty times—after meals, naps, or before bed—to build consistency. - Make It Fun
Use sticker charts, songs, or favourite books to keep potty time positive and stress-free. - Dress for Success
Use easy-to-remove clothing and training pants to encourage independence. - Encourage, Don’t Pressure
Stay calm with accidents. Celebrate small wins and avoid punishment or shame. - Model the Behaviour
Let them see family members using the toilet and talk through the steps in simple terms. - Use Positive Language
Say things like “Great job trying!” or “Let’s try again later!” to build confidence. - Stay Consistent at Home and Away
Bring a travel potty or use the same language wherever you go. - Nighttime Training Takes Time
Dry nights may come later—use waterproof sheets and be patient. - Know That Every Child Is Different
Toilet training is a process, not a race. Trust your child’s pace!
Toileting is an important part of getting ready for school, as it helps children feel more confident and independent in a new environment.
However, every child develops at their own pace, and it’s completely normal for children to reach this milestone at different times.
What matters most is supporting your child in a calm, positive way, balancing their individual progress with the goal of helping them feel prepared and comfortable for school life.
There’s no need to panic—small, consistent steps now can make a big difference later on.
Toileting can be a complex and sensitive milestone, especially for children with Special Educational Needs and Disabilities (SEND). Here are practical, supportive tips tailored for families, carers, or early years settings working with children with SEND:
Toileting Tips for Children with SEND
1. Start When the Child Is Ready
- Look for signs of readiness, not just age: showing interest in the toilet, staying dry for longer periods, discomfort with dirty nappies.
- Children with SEND may show readiness later or differently — patience is key.
2. Create a Consistent Routine
- Establish regular toilet times (e.g. after meals, before bed).
- Use visual schedules (symbols, photos, or a now/next board) to help the child understand the sequence of toileting.
- Keep routines consistent across home and school/nursery if possible.
3. Use Visual and Verbal Cues
- Provide clear, simple language: “Time for toilet”, “Pull down trousers”, etc.
- Use visual supports like PECS cards or step-by-step visuals near the toilet area.
- Consider a first-then approach: “First toilet, then story time.”
4. Adapt the Environment
- Ensure the toilet area is accessible, calm, and welcoming.
- Use footstools, smaller toilet seats, or potty chairs if needed for stability and comfort.
- Limit sensory triggers (e.g. loud flushes, strong smells, cold seats).
5. Celebrate Progress, Not Just Success
- Praise effort and steps (e.g. sitting on the toilet, telling an adult).
- Avoid pressure or punishment for accidents — stay positive and calm.
- Use reward systems (like sticker charts) if motivating for the child.
6. Understand Sensory Needs
- Some children may be hypersensitive to wiping, flushing, or clothing changes.
- Others may be hyposensitive and not feel when they’re wet or soiled.
- Work with occupational therapists or use social stories to explain the sensations involved.
7. Involve the Child as Much as Possible
- Encourage independence with small steps: pulling up pants, washing hands.
- Offer choice where possible (e.g. choosing which toilet to use, or what reward sticker they get).
8. Work with Professionals
- Collaborate with health visitors, occupational therapists, and SENCOs
- Some children may benefit from a Toileting Plan or EHCP support.
9. Be Patient – Progress Can Be Slow
- Expect ups and downs — regression is common during illness, change, or stress.
- Celebrate each step — toileting can take months or even years for some children with SEND.
10. Use Social Stories or Toilet Books
- Tailor social stories to explain what to do, what to expect, and why it matters.
- Use books with characters who learn to use the toilet — ideally ones reflecting the child’s experiences or needs.
Useful Resources
- ERIC (The Children’s Bowel & Bladder Charity): https://eric.org.uk
- NHS Choices – Toilet Training
- Local SEND services (ask your health visitor or SENCO)
